cooking recipes

[Ascaris]

lets share them

[Verslie]

What you need:
Cheese
Bread
A microwave

Method:
slice the bread. If this is too difficult for you, buy presliced bread.
Cut the cheese into slices, alter quanity depending on taste. If this is too difficult for you, then just use the entire block of cheese.
Place the cheese onto the sliced bread and put it into the microwave.
Set the microwave to high setting and just leave it for like 5 minutes.

You now have toast with melted cheese.

[Ascaris]

elephant stew

1 elephant (medium)
brown gravy (watkins beef soup & gravy base)
watkins sea salt & watkins pepper
Two Rabbits (optional)

cut elephant into small bite sized pieces. this should take only about two months. Add enough gravy to cover. cook over kerosene fire for about four weeks at 465 degrees. makes about 3,800 servings. to extend it add rabbits, but do this only if necessary as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.

[Verslie]

This could save hundreds of Africans from starvation.

[Ascaris]

i know isnt it genius

[Verslie]

Unfortunately, even if we did give them the recipe, most of them cannot read.

[Ascaris]

we shall send an emissary to read it to them

how about you walker

[Ascaris]

walker ran away

[Verslie]

can Walker speak African?

He'll have to learn all the different tribe languages aswell

They'd probably just wouldn't even listen to the recipe anyway, and just kill and eat Walker.

[Ascaris]

well its for the greater good anyway

[Verslie]

If they like the taste hopefully they'll go on a barbaric rampage and wipe themselves out.

[Ascaris]

the war of the walker

[Verslie]

Walker, if you agree to this then we'll build a statue in your honour and place it on top of the mountain of corpses.

[Ascaris]

and i will write a best selling book and turn it into a major motion picture

starring samuel jackson as walker and jake gyllenhall as justin his homosexual partner

[Verslie]

African children recipe

What you'll need:
Oven
African child corpse

Method:
Just put it in the oven until it looks edible.

Watch out for bones/teeth/penis (if the child is male)

[Ascaris]

together they go on a quest to bring peace to the land of africa

it will be a romantic comedy

[Ascaris]

penises are pretty soft. they can be edible.

[Verslie]

Yeah but when you look on a menu, do you ever see penis? It's because they don't taste good.

[Ascaris]

yeah theyre more of a niche market

[Verslie]

Penis recipe

What you need:
One penis (testicles are optional)
Spit roast barbecue

Method:
Pierce the penis through the center with the spit.
Turn occasionally.
Keep cooking until the penis either looks like an asian man's or a black man's, depending on your taste preference.
If you have chosen testicles, you can either serve them whole with the penis, or you can crush them with some water until they form a thick paste, which can be used as a sauce with the penis.
Enjoy